Well I Made it To Wrestlemania

Before my chemo began my husband and I had contemplated if I'd be able to go. Recovery time from a SCT is like 3-6months depending on the person. I think that I recovered rather quickly. By 3 months everything looked perfect as it should be according to my scans a few weeks ago. Although my blood work over the past few months slowly progressed, I had been feeling better since right after my last post in February. I didn't feel I needed to post many updates considering I FELT pretty much back to normal. My doctor eventually gave me the okay for Wrestlemania & so last we had a great time. I'm so happy I didn't miss out!

I'm back to the gym since 3 weeks ago, although I haven't been too consistent >_< I do go every week though at least 1-2x. Its been COLD in NYC so I avoid my 1mile walk to the gym on those days. I know its not an excuse. On the bright side though, I have been walking A LOT. I go out almost every day to run little errands for myself/husband/friend/family you name it. I avoid public transportation to the best of my ability. Just last week I walked for HOURS on a very busy errand day and completed the most miles I've ever walked at one time. It was just shy of 9miles I believe.

My mission now is to build this body back up in strength and aesthetically. I'm not as strong & toned as I used to be. I demand bigger muscles & more endurance hehe.

I may not update for awhile & thats good because that means I'm better!
I want to leave saying thanx for all the support guys! It carried me through a rough time in my life & I really appreciated the love.

My February Update

I would say that I felt almost back to normal about a week or two after my last post. Right now I feel great, been feeling this way for sometime now. I practically feel 100% except when I move around too much and realize my endurance isn't what it used to be. I've been building it back slowly with walking and other light exercises here and there. I went through an emotional 2 week rollercoaster having been upset due to some family related issues I was having. I also think I was abnormally emotional, it reminded me of how I get sometimes being a woman and all. My doctor even asked me yesterday if I was experiencing any symptoms and she said sometimes the symptoms occur even if you haven't gotten your period. So I'm not crazy! Anyways I'm fine now but I did tell her I had been having a strange light-headed, almost dizzy, can't concentrate, almost headachy, dehydrated feeling in my brain. I told her I assumed it was dehydration, but its been ongoing for days and I guess I'm still not drinking enough. I might not be getting enough sleep either, but who knows!

Enough hair to hold a clip!

My blood counts went up a tad since 3 weeks ago. Everything is looking good so far but I'm still not in the perfect clear just yet. I believe I get a scan on my next one month visit >_< Also I've been taking this yellow paint like medicine called Atovaquone, its an antibiotic I have to take for 6 months to prevent a certain kind of pneumonia. Aside from the occasional boredom I am doing fairly well and am so happy to feel like the rest of the population. OH and my hair has grown back! Its still in the early fuzz stages, but its definitely there.

Home & Expectations

It was really hard to update in the hospital. Its BEEN hard to update. That willpower man. Even I couldn't bring myself to the computer many days. My Christmas was uneventful, I was feverish for days until I received steroids. I want to say 'I LOVE THOSE STEROIDS!', having been on prednisone in the past & this time some new steroid that made me feel better... BUT... it had its downfalls. This steroid, I forgot what it was called, made me very anxious, jittery to the point that I could not sleep unless I took Ativan before bed. The Ativan only lasted 3 hrs or so resulting in me tossing & turning in the middle of the night trying to go back to sleep on my own but failing & having to ask for more Ativan. It also made me feel like I was an emotional wreck. I was irritated easily, crying the next second, or freaking out. I only had to stay on it for 3 days. My New Years was also kind of uneventful in that I was overly exhausted and really only spent it with my husband and a little bottle of sparkling apple cider. I forced myself to stay up for the ball drop and then proceeded to sleep shortly after ignoring most calls and txt messages. I'm sorry about that, but through my worst days I ignored a lot of messages because I just wanted to sleep my miserable insides away.

I finally came home and I honestly didn't feel as great as I had hoped. That's what I get for having high hopes. Its just that, I'm still pretty weak. Although honestly I could be much worse, doctors say I was "ahead of the curve". I just don't like feeling so unlike myself. I nap a lot, I feel crappy a lot, and I just wait for this weakness to run its course. I can't do much about it but EAT and HYDRATE myself. I lack energy to walk much, let alone do much exercising right now. My counts are still on the low end, so until my body recuperates I'm going to be a sluggish mess. I'm not allowed to exercise hard but I can't exercise much anyway since there isn't any fuel in this tank right now. I plan to start a light exercise plan in the next week or so. I'm allowing myself to rest up for now...FOR NOW. I can't wait until I start feeling better and I can push my body again. Its going to be disgusting how I'll make my body change this year.

Now I know I said I would workout while I was in the hospital and YOU KNOW WHAT? I did my best. My first week in I exercised everyday practically, walking miles in the hallway and then some. During the middle of my stay (the peak worst) I slept the days away and honestly I can say I don't remember too much of it. The days felt long and torturous at the time, but now I just can't remember where the time went. Towards my last week I began to use my exercise bike more and walk around the room here and there. I wasn't allowed out of my room. I think I did great though. Try getting high dose chemo and doing anything at all! When I came home the first night I broke down and cried before bed because I was overwhelmed with so many emotions. I was free, in the bed I longed for, I still felt horrible, but I was still so grateful, and happy to lay next to my loving superhero husband. He never ONCE failed me, sure he aggravated me when he pushed me to do things on my own, to eat, to move, to drink, but he was my coach, he did everything right, with the right words, attitude, everything. Most of all I was overwhelmed in tears realizing I couldn't remember the worst of it. I think my brain put a protective block in my head because I try to recall the memories of me that second week and all I mostly remember are my visitors and the clock on my wall. I would stare at that thing waiting for the days to end for a new one to start and it felt like forever. 3 weeks later, here I am and why does it seem like it went by so fast now? I don't know. I'm glad the worst is over. I'm learning the tricks of what helps me feel better temporarily at least: food = energy, liquids = hydration, Ativan = when the nausea kicks in & food looks/smells too disgusting to eat. 

I will try to keep the positive attitude up though, just going through a minor rough patch expecting too much too soon. Like my stay in MSK, this too shall pass... quickly... Just need to be patient.

Guests Make Me Happy!

Completion of 3 miles!

My hubby's silly mask

Today I had a really great day, I woke up feeling more nauseous than the day before but I took a medicine that helped me pass the day. My husband walked with me for my daily laps, we did 2. He also drew a motivational reminder sign for my wall that says "Its NOT forever"... because thats how it will feel when I am at my worst. I had many guests today, my aunt & uncle came by with 2 other guests. Later my friend Kunga surprised me with her presence and hung out with me. My mom came late to sleep over. I walked my 3rd mile with her. I can feel myself getting weaker each day, but I'm pushing forward... doing what I can while I still can.

Day -3

Using the computer.

Today felt a little lonely in the morning because I sent my husband home last night, I wanted him to get a good nights sleep. I kept myself busy doing my usual routines of exercise and I drew some motivational words to put up on my walls. I also decided to use a streaming webcam so that anyone can see me through a browser instead of having people download programs like Oovoo or Skype if they don't want to. My husband and my friend came by in the evening and we hung out, it really made me happy :)

If you want to watch what its like to live in a room for 3-4 weeks check out my live NON XXX webcam here: http://tinychat.com/chiquitabanina

Exercise: 3mile walk, 20 squats

Day 2, -4 in SCT Terms

Working with my gloves
and mask.

My little sister originally
bombarded it with decorations,
it was driving me nuts so I had
to take it apart.

Today I felt a bit of the fatigue that comes with chemo, it came and went throughout the day. For some reason walking the halls kept my energy up, surprising right? I know sometimes when your tired its good to exercise to feel energized, you wouldn't think so. Not so sure how that goes with my chemo situation, but so far its working. I kept myself busy setting up my dusty little old Christmas tree (I had to wipe it clean first) and then put up other decorations around the room.

They grew back considerably fast!

I noticed also that my eyebrows were finally noticeably growing back, but they will be bye bye again soon. At least I don't have to draw them in for a little while. Considering that I had some fatigue and nausea from time to time I had a really good workout day:
I walked 3 miles in the hallway, I did 50 squats, 200 crunches, 60 wall pushups and 20 lunges for each leg. That's what Batman would do. No excuses! Oh and my admission weight was 118, my appetite has been a little off. I EAT, but my stomach to brain connection is not normal. So I don't get hungry, I just eat when I know its time to eat. Not enjoying my food as much lately, its not bad, its just not DELICIOUS like normal. Its been like that for a few weeks now. Hopefully it doesn't get too bad, I need to keep the weight on!

The BIG Chemo Admission for SCT Day -5

Ice Skating!

Its 12-12-12! I did not realize this would be my admission date until someone told me yesterday. I hear its a lucky date :D Yesterday I had a check-up explaining my upcoming chemo/transplant. It was an early appointment so I was able to stay in the city and walk to Bryant Park to go ICE SKATING with my husband! We had a lot of fun, and didn't fall. I almost did, but I DIDN'T! On the way there we passed by Rockefeller Center.

Rockefeller Christmas Tree

Today I was admitted around noon and settled into my room. I didn't sleep too well last night so I was very tired all day. I don't feel nervous but maybe I am subconsciously anxious. I organized the room a little and found the energy to do some exercise. The best part of the night was when I tested and used my rooms computer webcam. I spoke to a distant cousin who I hadn't chatted with, let alone SEEN in a long while and we must have talked for almost 3 hours. Day one, success.

Exercise: 200 crunches, 1 mile walk in the hallway, 50 squats, & some resistance band exercises for the upper body.

Recharging

The 1st "beautiful" fail
behind my arm after a
Neupogen shot.

Well it turns out the "beautiful" fail my husband left me the other day wasn't his fault. The next morning I received another bruise. I suspected it was due to low blood platelet counts, not to mention my gums had been bleeding more than usual the past few days when I would brush my teeth. On Thursday I went in to collect more stem cells, and got a CT/PET scan. The nurses also had me get a platelet transfusion because my numbers were too low. Later in the day we found out that I still hadn't produced any stem cells. I was told not to come back on Friday. Though disappointing, I was much more relieved for it to be over. Its been a hard week on my body, so I needed this break to mentally and physically recharge. On Monday I will find out what is the next plan of action.

This was the 2nd one. Its
easy to bruise with low
platelet counts.

I haven't been updating the past few days because I needed to just rest. Friday & Saturday I was also distracted with visiting guests. My plan today you ask? To vegetate watching Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, & The Dark Knight Rises all over again ;) I will also try to do some heavier workouts today since I'm feeling like my old self again.

Day 2 & 3 of ICE 2nd Cycle :(

Before:
 
I was feeling okay Friday morning up until my mini surgery to get a catheter put in my chest.
After:
Whatever medicine they gave me to knock me out, has been making making me feel very yucky. I have been very nauseous since yesterday then. I am too tired to do anything, I feel weak, and miserable to sum it up.

This video is of me still loopy after the mini catheter surgery & as I was talking to my husband he thought it would be funny to record my silly ramblings. (Hence the title: Crackhead Nina)

The catheter/medicine had made me nauseous soI tried to sleep away this feeling. Friday night I unexpectedly threw up my dinner. I had been nauseous but tolerating it until I sat up in my bed and I couldn't hold back :(

Saturday rolled along and I stayed nauseous all day, I mostly slept the day away, my appetite had been dwindling so I hadn't eaten much all day. Once again at night I threw up a little bit. Yesterday morning I weighed 121. I walked 6 laps for exercise.

Today Sunday morning I weigh 119... sorry but its hard to eat most foods :\ I will push myself more. My resting heart rate is around 120 again. No good news to report. Just send me good thoughts and wishes that this misery of mine is short lived. I just want it to pass fast already.

Day 1 Second Cycle of ICE

What a week! My appointment should have been on Monday but in the advent of 'Hurricane Sandy' aka 'Frankenstorm', it was pushed to today -Thursday. My appointment was for 4pm but my doctor specially requested that I come in to see her first around 1:30. I did not arrive to see her until about 2:30. There was surprisingly NO traffic coming into the city. I unexpectedly had to get a bone marrow biopsy done today, THANKFULLY my doctor is good at what she does & she made it hurt the least possible. It was probably the least painful bone marrow biopsy I've gotten done. As soon as it was done a woman from the Stem Cell team came & spoke to me about the coming procedures I'll have to undergo before I start my transplant.

I finally arrived at my main hospital around 5pm (an hour late) & they took me to my room quite quickly. Here I am sitting quite bored because I keep being asked a million repeat questions about recent symptoms, how I feel, my medical history, etc. It really gets annoying after awhile. My nurse right now is pretty dull, but her shift ends soon & I'm hoping the one I have overnight has some personality. My vitals are good, weight remains the same.

Exercise Update: I'm disappointed in myself for being lazy during 'Sandy', I did a tiny bit of exercise but nothing to be proud of. Today I made sure to lift some weights though: db bicep curls, db military press, situps, lunges, squats for the most part.

Also, since Halloween didn't really get to happen this year I decided to wear my Batman outfit today. I swear I don't look crazy! :)

Back to Exercising

My aunts came in from Puerto Rico yesterday for a short visit. We went out to eat and do a bit of window shopping. I feel good. As we were shopping I saw a box set of weights for a decent price and came home with it. Last night I did some challenging upper body exercises w/ my new weights & since they are big plates they make me look very strong ;) I love it! Its all illusion though, they aren't as heavy as they look. I'm so happy I made the purchase because I miss having muscular arms. I cancelled my gym membership a month ago because I figured I wouldn't be able to workout much or be in a public environment now that my immune system is down.

Today I had to run an important errand so I woke up early and walked over 2 1/2 miles, pretty much 3 if you count the extra walking I did after I got to my destination. Oh! And can you believe it? Some guy actually hit on me today on my walk (remember I'm bald). I was wearing a cap but you can tell I have no hair, so that was a little surprising. Tonight I was invited to try a free Zumba class. Lets see how my body holds up. I feel like my normal self. I feel great. Can't complain. The next few days should be uneventful in relation to my treatment. I return for my next 3 day ICE chemotherapy on Monday.

Day 3 of (ICE) Chemo

He later found my stuffed teddy bear on the
bed and started chewing on him LoL.

Yesterday I attended a workshop on frame painting. It was just me and my husband and they gave us the supplies. I will post a video update of yesterdays happenings & you can see our masterpieces in the video.

Today I weighed in at 123lbs which means I have gained 20lbs since my lowest weight in late august of 103lbs. My appetite is still great, no bad side effects from chemo so far. I was told 14 laps in the hallway equals a mile, so I completed that task. Will walk more later :) I also did some arm band exercises. I relaxed in the recreation room for a little while, checked out the cute library they have (there's a lot of books-its nice). I also got a visit from Oliver, a doggy visitor. I hope to see two more doggies later. I forgot to mention that they have me recording how much I pee (for anyone who's been through chemo before). I have to do it so they know my kidneys are functioning well or something like that.

Exercise: I did 2 miles worth of laps (28 laps) and arm exercises with a good deal of resistance (I'm updating now at 3:22am & already feeling sore).

Day 2 of (ICE) Chemo

I took a shower like this
because I am still
getting infused.

My chemo has nothing to do with ice, it is an abbreviation of the 3 medicines I have to take.

I have been up since they woke me for blood at 7:15am, I proceeded to get some motion going by doing ten laps around the hospital hall. At one point I knocked down a big sign because my IV pump machine has wheels that stick out. That was a little embarrassing but the custodian told me he would fix it -lol! Oops! Breakfast came & I had an really good omelette, saved my oatmeal & bagel for later. I had to take a shower with wires connected to me, but they have this plastic meant to cover your chest if you have a port like me. I will post a picture. Sorry if its too showy, my nurse walked right in afterwards so I didn't have time to take a better shot. I slept with the wires connected to my chest (its really not as horrible as one might think).

I received my first medicine last night, today I am getting a mix of that one & a new one at the moment. They gave me anti-nausea medicine just in case with this 2nd drug. I am trying to eat a lot before the bad side effects kick in. Also I weighed in at 121 today, but that's really just water weight. I've peed over 20x since I've been here, yeah... that part is pretty annoying. Now I remember why my hands got so dried & peeled the first time I went through this 2 years ago (washing my hands all the time). So far my body still feels good!

Exercise: In total today I did 18 laps and light arm exercises.

PET Scan

I'm about to eat a big breakfast right now because it will be my only meal until after 5pm probably. I cannot eat 6 hours prior to my scan today so I will load up on some filling proteins & carbs like toast with eggs, plus some bad food too like Nutella maybe ;) I can't exercise either, you can't exercise 24hrs prior.
This scan is very expensive, my insurance hates to grant me permissions for it. My doctors have to usually request with a special note. Its awesome though, the images that it produces with x-ray, infrared lighting, and all that mumbo-jumbo. I have to get this radio active injection a half hour before I get scanned. I think of spider man every time I hear radio active and like to think that on PET scan days like this I'm extra cool because I'm radio active haha.

Wish me luck, & keep me in your thoughts today because Monday will be results day. Time is ticking!...>_<

Kind of Bedridden But I'm Okay

I spent most of the day lying in bed updating this blog. Html can be so tricky and annoying. If you've seen the move 'Something About Mary' I pretty much walk around like the character Tucker (the guy with the crutches), that's what my husband says. I'm very lucky because he has been helping me all day (breakfast in bed, making my tea(s), carrying me through the hallway lol, luv him.) My ankles are getting better, but not soon enough. I have an appointment tomorrow and unfortunately I need to walk a bit to my hospital from the train station. This week I have not been able to exercise as much as I would have wanted because of my stupid ankles. I'm actually disappointed in myself for not trying harder to exercise. I know I have a valid excuse not to train, but I try to push myself probably when I shouldn't because I'm stubborn & I crave to defy the odds against me. On the bright side I received these cute cancer charms in the mail that I ordered awhile back so I played around making earrings and bracelets with them while watching 'The Office' all day.

Preparing

I have Hodgkin's Lymphoma Cancer... again. I am one week away from possibly coming home with pain in my lower back from a bone marrow biopy & being happy that my cancer is gone for the most part. In that scenario I just wait for my stem cell treatment. In a less favorable scenario, my PET scan will show that I still have cancer or my biopsy will show that I have cancer & I will be spending the next three nights in my hospital starting a harsher chemotherapy treatment called ICE. I have undergone easier chemo treatments recently and in the past but I've been told this ICE won't be a piece of cake. I just completed 6 mini chemo sessions & for this reason I still have my hair, & have been able to deliberately gain extra weight. No side effects. I'm a monster. In a good way. Yeah that's me saying I'm strong.

My doctors told me that I should taper back my prednisone (this medicine allows my joints to feel good). Oh yeah I have Rheumatoid Arthritis if you didn't already know that. I started tapering down from 10mgs to7 recently but maybe I rushed it because in the past two days I have been feeling pretty crummy. I'm not gonna taper down anymore, on Friday I explained this to my doctor & she agreed I could keep the prednisone until I undergo chemo. My left ankle is swollen enough that I limp & cannot walk much today. I cannot go to the gym limping which is why I am here laying in bed with my leg elevated.

Its later in the day now & despite my swollen ankle I did a fairly light workout. My ankle felt a little better but I mostly worked on upper body. Push ups, curls, military dumb bell press, side lateral, leg lifts, hip abductions, glute kickbacks, & some wall sits. Ended the night with a high protein meal and lots of water. Its getting late now so I am going to work on my exercise plan for the WWBD project.