My February Update

I would say that I felt almost back to normal about a week or two after my last post. Right now I feel great, been feeling this way for sometime now. I practically feel 100% except when I move around too much and realize my endurance isn't what it used to be. I've been building it back slowly with walking and other light exercises here and there. I went through an emotional 2 week rollercoaster having been upset due to some family related issues I was having. I also think I was abnormally emotional, it reminded me of how I get sometimes being a woman and all. My doctor even asked me yesterday if I was experiencing any symptoms and she said sometimes the symptoms occur even if you haven't gotten your period. So I'm not crazy! Anyways I'm fine now but I did tell her I had been having a strange light-headed, almost dizzy, can't concentrate, almost headachy, dehydrated feeling in my brain. I told her I assumed it was dehydration, but its been ongoing for days and I guess I'm still not drinking enough. I might not be getting enough sleep either, but who knows!

Enough hair to hold a clip!

My blood counts went up a tad since 3 weeks ago. Everything is looking good so far but I'm still not in the perfect clear just yet. I believe I get a scan on my next one month visit >_< Also I've been taking this yellow paint like medicine called Atovaquone, its an antibiotic I have to take for 6 months to prevent a certain kind of pneumonia. Aside from the occasional boredom I am doing fairly well and am so happy to feel like the rest of the population. OH and my hair has grown back! Its still in the early fuzz stages, but its definitely there.

Was Too Sick To Post This Past Week

Here is a quick rundown of what I dealt with this past week.
A mix of strong nausea, extreme fatigue, shortness of breath, weakness, & just staying in bed.

Monday: Almost passed out after my shower. Nurses helped me. Head didn't feel right all day.
Tuesday: Head still throbbed. Threw up spit right before my stem cell transplant. SCT, uneventful- some cramps. Slept the day away mostly. Fever.
Wednesday: I got my first blood transfusion today. Santa came by with Carolers. Nausea continues...
Thursday: Husband donated platelets with my brother who donated blood. Throat starts acting up at night (mucosis begins). Pain in my esophagus. All I do is drink my food, can't eat anymore.
Friday: A really boring day, and of course felt terrible. Another fever. Got routine chest x-ray, everything ok.

I love my aunts <3

Saturday: Another boring day, still feeling terrible.
Sunday: A very good morning. My birthday, 2 aunts from Puerto Rico came for the day, my dad, my bro, his g/f, my other aunt, and my husband were here. I received my husbands platelets, throat starts to feel a bit better.
Monday: Received my brothers blood. Feverish all day since last night. Took a long nap, but feeling noticeably better in the evening. Another chest x-ray.

The BIG Chemo Admission for SCT Day -5

Ice Skating!

Its 12-12-12! I did not realize this would be my admission date until someone told me yesterday. I hear its a lucky date :D Yesterday I had a check-up explaining my upcoming chemo/transplant. It was an early appointment so I was able to stay in the city and walk to Bryant Park to go ICE SKATING with my husband! We had a lot of fun, and didn't fall. I almost did, but I DIDN'T! On the way there we passed by Rockefeller Center.

Rockefeller Christmas Tree

Today I was admitted around noon and settled into my room. I didn't sleep too well last night so I was very tired all day. I don't feel nervous but maybe I am subconsciously anxious. I organized the room a little and found the energy to do some exercise. The best part of the night was when I tested and used my rooms computer webcam. I spoke to a distant cousin who I hadn't chatted with, let alone SEEN in a long while and we must have talked for almost 3 hours. Day one, success.

Exercise: 200 crunches, 1 mile walk in the hallway, 50 squats, & some resistance band exercises for the upper body.

Stem Cell Collection Attempt #2

Yesterday I was a human pin cushion. In addition to my 2 daily Neupogen shots to the back of my arm I had to receive a new Lupron shot to the side of my butt cheek and a Mozabil shot to the arm to boost stem cell production in my bone marrow.

I had mild nausea from the Mozabil and had a hard time sleeping because I kept waking up. I felt restless all night. Luckily this morning when I came in to collect my stem cells they placed me on a bed this time instead of a couch! WIN. Unfortunately during the 3 hour process I only slept one hour because I was still restless playing on my tablet. It was an unusually warm day so my husband and I went out to eat a sandwich for lunch and relaxed in a nearby park before my next appointment. Around 1:30 I went in for an EKG and PFT (Pulmonary Function Test) where I met the best technician I've thus far worked with. He was really laid back and relaxed unlike others I've had. I hope I have him next time too. I also met a sweet & kind 86 year old woman who sat next to me in the waiting area to share her cancer story and spread her blessings. I'm not gonna lie, her words touched me so much she made me tear up.

I later went in to wait for another Mozabil shot for tomorrows stem cell collection. As we were waiting a nurse called me to let me know the good news. Today I collected over FIVE MILLION stem cells! I don't have to come back tomorrow because they have all the cells they need. I also didn't have to take the Mozabil shot or anymore neupagen shots! ^_^ The nurse told me... I will very likely be admitted for the STC next week... oh boy...

*I started a simple squat plan that I will continue throughout the holidays.

Doctors Appointment

My husband got me an
early birthday gift.
A juicer!!!

Today I had routine blood work done and met up with my new Stem Cell Team. I am now under the care of a different doctor and nurse. I met my new doctor months ago and I really like him because he has a super positive bubbly personality. I love bubbly people. We discussed the upcoming weeks plan of action. I start my second attempt of collecting stem cells on Monday. They each told me to have a long hard talk with my bone marrow this weekend hehe. In order to ensure results they are having me come in on Sunday to receive a shot that will boost my chances of producing stem cells. They told me I would also be receiving a Lupron shot different from my usual monthly injection. It will be a higher dose 3 month slow release kind that may give me more heat flashes.

Savoring My Break

On Monday I had a follow up appointment with my doctor. I received the great news that my PET scan from last week was completely clear! ^_^ My doctor told me that I wouldn't be seeing her until after my stem cell transplant. I am now in the hands of the SCT team. They called me the following day to update me on the next plan of action. Starting next Wednesday I will start taking neupogen shots in the arm again to see if my bone marrow will produce stem cells this time. Its been a very peaceful and restful week for me. Its been great aside from a tiny bothersome headache. My mom visited Monday night and we watched... "The Dark Knight Rises" of course! She had never seen it and loved it. Since then I have been on a Tom Hardy/Christian Bale fix having watched "The Fighter" & "Warrior". Notice the trend in my movies? ;)

Recharging

The 1st "beautiful" fail
behind my arm after a
Neupogen shot.

Well it turns out the "beautiful" fail my husband left me the other day wasn't his fault. The next morning I received another bruise. I suspected it was due to low blood platelet counts, not to mention my gums had been bleeding more than usual the past few days when I would brush my teeth. On Thursday I went in to collect more stem cells, and got a CT/PET scan. The nurses also had me get a platelet transfusion because my numbers were too low. Later in the day we found out that I still hadn't produced any stem cells. I was told not to come back on Friday. Though disappointing, I was much more relieved for it to be over. Its been a hard week on my body, so I needed this break to mentally and physically recharge. On Monday I will find out what is the next plan of action.

This was the 2nd one. Its
easy to bruise with low
platelet counts.

I haven't been updating the past few days because I needed to just rest. Friday & Saturday I was also distracted with visiting guests. My plan today you ask? To vegetate watching Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, & The Dark Knight Rises all over again ;) I will also try to do some heavier workouts today since I'm feeling like my old self again.

Not Ready

My blood work from Friday was even worse than the blood work from last Wednesday. I noticed I felt my weakest on Saturday, so I assume that is when it sunk to its lowest. Yesterday I started to feel noticeably better. This morning I feel 90% which is GREAT. Unfortunately my blood count is still on the low end but the nurses today told me my counts were headed up. This means that my scheduled Stem Cell Donation (to myself) appointment was cancelled today and I have to come back tomorrow. They said I should be good to go tomorrow. Its amazing how they can predict that. Until then I was told to keep a high calcium diet. This prevents the possibility of light-headedness and nausea that can occur during the Stem Cell Donation process. I've been prepping my body this past week by receiving Neupogen shots (white blood cells) to the  back of my arm. It sucks every time, each morning, when my husband pinches my skin and injects me. Let me tell you, you do NOT get used to needles the more you get them. There is no getting used to that! I have to close my eyes cringing and humming songs to distract myself each time.

Oh my picture from Friday was posted on a radio stations page and it got over 400,000 likes! Thats cray!!! I can't believe so many people all over the country saw --> my big bald head! ^_^

Wednesday

OMG how could you NOT love
the little ball of FuFu!

I've had a lot of guests visit me the past few days. Its been a nice distraction. Yesterday my brother came by, then a friend (thx for the treats again!), and later my brothers girlfriend. I am starting to feel a tad bit better. I guess what I mean is that my head isn't hurting AS much, as before but it still doesn't feel right. Its a slow progress. Today I had to get blood work done so I went out for a little bit this morning. When we came back home I planned to just lay in bed all day and rest. Thats exactly what I did. I don't like to lie in bed for hours but there's not much else I can do to feel better. Tiny exertion, tires me out. My handy dandy dog slept by my side for most of my nap, and I felt somewhat better later on. I'm still not used to this damn catheter on my chest/neck >:(, its physically not bothersome, but I think it adds to my nausea when I lay/sit in different positions.

Anyway I hear its snowing out, so its not like I'm missing out much... 

Finally Updating

I know I look terrible lol,
but what can you expect?

Its been very rough theses past few days. I'm too tired to even update, but Rick pushes me when I need to go the extra mile. Yesterday my aunt & uncle came to visit, they are so sweet and good to me, going above and beyond to make sure I'm happy. I got 3 balloons (one was Batman), I got soo many roses, can't even count, & my aunt who is a nurse even got me a portable little blood pressure/hr monitor gadget. I was really exhausted all day but I dont like to just lay in bed when I have company over :\

My visiting nurse came in the evening to change the dressing on my catheter, and not long after my mom came over too. It was a full house, very nice, but at the same time overwhelming for me. By the time my mother left I was beyond spent. I try to be strong in the company of others, especially my family but that alone is exhausting enough and I end up breaking down when everyone leaves. My husband says I'm too concerned about everyone else's feelings, he says I need to let myself be sick and cared for right now. I'm afraid to upset everyone and let them see me at my weakest. I'm stubborn, I need to look strong! Keeping that image up has been hard lately. So I guess in this moment of weakness all I ask is just for your affections, love, care, thoughts, a joke, anything genuinely simple enough to make me smile for a second. I need your attention right now :\ it distracts me from nausea, it makes me feel better when now all I can do is lay in bed for days and wait this out.

Day 1 Second Cycle of ICE

What a week! My appointment should have been on Monday but in the advent of 'Hurricane Sandy' aka 'Frankenstorm', it was pushed to today -Thursday. My appointment was for 4pm but my doctor specially requested that I come in to see her first around 1:30. I did not arrive to see her until about 2:30. There was surprisingly NO traffic coming into the city. I unexpectedly had to get a bone marrow biopsy done today, THANKFULLY my doctor is good at what she does & she made it hurt the least possible. It was probably the least painful bone marrow biopsy I've gotten done. As soon as it was done a woman from the Stem Cell team came & spoke to me about the coming procedures I'll have to undergo before I start my transplant.

I finally arrived at my main hospital around 5pm (an hour late) & they took me to my room quite quickly. Here I am sitting quite bored because I keep being asked a million repeat questions about recent symptoms, how I feel, my medical history, etc. It really gets annoying after awhile. My nurse right now is pretty dull, but her shift ends soon & I'm hoping the one I have overnight has some personality. My vitals are good, weight remains the same.

Exercise Update: I'm disappointed in myself for being lazy during 'Sandy', I did a tiny bit of exercise but nothing to be proud of. Today I made sure to lift some weights though: db bicep curls, db military press, situps, lunges, squats for the most part.

Also, since Halloween didn't really get to happen this year I decided to wear my Batman outfit today. I swear I don't look crazy! :)

Friday, First Full Day Home

Just a day of relaxing in bed for the most part. The pain from my water retention swelling died down. I am a little more nauseous (just a little) & my appetite has faded away. I'm eating but its not going down as easily as before. Took a few short walks outside just to get some fresh air.

My babes gave me a 1 UP,
"Extra Life"
^_^

* Exercise: I felt a little better at night so I did some bicep curls, military presses, front raises, side lateral raises, and calf raises. I only used 5lb dumb bells so don't worry, I'm not overdoing it with those baby weights ;) I'm keeping it light.

I'm a Happy Girl

I was alone this morning eating breakfast & I could tell it was a beautiful morning. The sun seemed to shine bright through the kitchen window & I could feel a refreshing breeze. I just sat there & thought to myself that the only thing missing for a perfect moment would be the smell of green, some grass, plants, some kind of nature. Not too much nature around me. As I sat there the thought came to my mind again: I love my life. I love life. And I've only meant it more each passing year as I mature & go through things that sometimes suck but often times make my life better. I'm a big believer in ones ability to guide themselves into the best possible path they see fit. Example: I have cancer. I'm not depressed. I'm happy, I'm really happy. I don't like cancer, but I'm not miserable because of it. I'm better than that.

*Update: Yesterday I had to do a CT scan with my PET scan. I wasn't aware of that. I had to drink like 2 & a half cups of that yucky fake orange-rasberry soda/juice for an hour. I fell asleep during the 25 minute scan. Also I weighed in at 118. I will post pictures later.

PET Scan

I'm about to eat a big breakfast right now because it will be my only meal until after 5pm probably. I cannot eat 6 hours prior to my scan today so I will load up on some filling proteins & carbs like toast with eggs, plus some bad food too like Nutella maybe ;) I can't exercise either, you can't exercise 24hrs prior.
This scan is very expensive, my insurance hates to grant me permissions for it. My doctors have to usually request with a special note. Its awesome though, the images that it produces with x-ray, infrared lighting, and all that mumbo-jumbo. I have to get this radio active injection a half hour before I get scanned. I think of spider man every time I hear radio active and like to think that on PET scan days like this I'm extra cool because I'm radio active haha.

Wish me luck, & keep me in your thoughts today because Monday will be results day. Time is ticking!...>_<

Kind of Bedridden But I'm Okay

I spent most of the day lying in bed updating this blog. Html can be so tricky and annoying. If you've seen the move 'Something About Mary' I pretty much walk around like the character Tucker (the guy with the crutches), that's what my husband says. I'm very lucky because he has been helping me all day (breakfast in bed, making my tea(s), carrying me through the hallway lol, luv him.) My ankles are getting better, but not soon enough. I have an appointment tomorrow and unfortunately I need to walk a bit to my hospital from the train station. This week I have not been able to exercise as much as I would have wanted because of my stupid ankles. I'm actually disappointed in myself for not trying harder to exercise. I know I have a valid excuse not to train, but I try to push myself probably when I shouldn't because I'm stubborn & I crave to defy the odds against me. On the bright side I received these cute cancer charms in the mail that I ordered awhile back so I played around making earrings and bracelets with them while watching 'The Office' all day.