Finally Updating

I know I look terrible lol,
but what can you expect?

Its been very rough theses past few days. I'm too tired to even update, but Rick pushes me when I need to go the extra mile. Yesterday my aunt & uncle came to visit, they are so sweet and good to me, going above and beyond to make sure I'm happy. I got 3 balloons (one was Batman), I got soo many roses, can't even count, & my aunt who is a nurse even got me a portable little blood pressure/hr monitor gadget. I was really exhausted all day but I dont like to just lay in bed when I have company over :\

My visiting nurse came in the evening to change the dressing on my catheter, and not long after my mom came over too. It was a full house, very nice, but at the same time overwhelming for me. By the time my mother left I was beyond spent. I try to be strong in the company of others, especially my family but that alone is exhausting enough and I end up breaking down when everyone leaves. My husband says I'm too concerned about everyone else's feelings, he says I need to let myself be sick and cared for right now. I'm afraid to upset everyone and let them see me at my weakest. I'm stubborn, I need to look strong! Keeping that image up has been hard lately. So I guess in this moment of weakness all I ask is just for your affections, love, care, thoughts, a joke, anything genuinely simple enough to make me smile for a second. I need your attention right now :\ it distracts me from nausea, it makes me feel better when now all I can do is lay in bed for days and wait this out.