Not Ready

My blood work from Friday was even worse than the blood work from last Wednesday. I noticed I felt my weakest on Saturday, so I assume that is when it sunk to its lowest. Yesterday I started to feel noticeably better. This morning I feel 90% which is GREAT. Unfortunately my blood count is still on the low end but the nurses today told me my counts were headed up. This means that my scheduled Stem Cell Donation (to myself) appointment was cancelled today and I have to come back tomorrow. They said I should be good to go tomorrow. Its amazing how they can predict that. Until then I was told to keep a high calcium diet. This prevents the possibility of light-headedness and nausea that can occur during the Stem Cell Donation process. I've been prepping my body this past week by receiving Neupogen shots (white blood cells) to the  back of my arm. It sucks every time, each morning, when my husband pinches my skin and injects me. Let me tell you, you do NOT get used to needles the more you get them. There is no getting used to that! I have to close my eyes cringing and humming songs to distract myself each time.

Oh my picture from Friday was posted on a radio stations page and it got over 400,000 likes! Thats cray!!! I can't believe so many people all over the country saw --> my big bald head! ^_^

A 'BEST NEWS EVER' Kind of Day

I noticed I woke up upbeat. I was humming, singing, being silly. It seems when I can do that -things are looking up. I'm not going to lie. I cried a lot this week. I'm very impatient lately. My other chemos did not leave as long of a discomfort as this last one has. Everyday I woke up hoping to feel better & although I did a little each day, it wasn't sufficient enough for me. I'm still not feeling better, but for the moment I can be appreciative its not worse.

The things that annoyed my life this week:
This catheter on/in my chest (uncomfortable to lay), its more nauseating than anything, the dry mouth/throat/gums (having to eat soft things), constipation, my stomach not being 100%, my husband giving me a shot to the back of my arms everyday, & having this headache-y feeling.
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NOW to the GREAT NEWS: While out and about this morning I received a call from my doctors office & they told me that the Bone Marrow biopsy from last week was CLEAR! No cancer! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I JUST WANT TO SING & DANCE, I FEEL SO GOOD! SO HAPPY! SO HOPEFUL! If this weeks chemo beat my ass down, well this news just boosted me back up ten fold! Its a GREAT day! ^_^

Finally Updating

I know I look terrible lol,
but what can you expect?

Its been very rough theses past few days. I'm too tired to even update, but Rick pushes me when I need to go the extra mile. Yesterday my aunt & uncle came to visit, they are so sweet and good to me, going above and beyond to make sure I'm happy. I got 3 balloons (one was Batman), I got soo many roses, can't even count, & my aunt who is a nurse even got me a portable little blood pressure/hr monitor gadget. I was really exhausted all day but I dont like to just lay in bed when I have company over :\

My visiting nurse came in the evening to change the dressing on my catheter, and not long after my mom came over too. It was a full house, very nice, but at the same time overwhelming for me. By the time my mother left I was beyond spent. I try to be strong in the company of others, especially my family but that alone is exhausting enough and I end up breaking down when everyone leaves. My husband says I'm too concerned about everyone else's feelings, he says I need to let myself be sick and cared for right now. I'm afraid to upset everyone and let them see me at my weakest. I'm stubborn, I need to look strong! Keeping that image up has been hard lately. So I guess in this moment of weakness all I ask is just for your affections, love, care, thoughts, a joke, anything genuinely simple enough to make me smile for a second. I need your attention right now :\ it distracts me from nausea, it makes me feel better when now all I can do is lay in bed for days and wait this out.

Crappy Monday

Day 2 & 3 of ICE 2nd Cycle :(

Before:
 
I was feeling okay Friday morning up until my mini surgery to get a catheter put in my chest.
After:
Whatever medicine they gave me to knock me out, has been making making me feel very yucky. I have been very nauseous since yesterday then. I am too tired to do anything, I feel weak, and miserable to sum it up.

This video is of me still loopy after the mini catheter surgery & as I was talking to my husband he thought it would be funny to record my silly ramblings. (Hence the title: Crackhead Nina)

The catheter/medicine had made me nauseous soI tried to sleep away this feeling. Friday night I unexpectedly threw up my dinner. I had been nauseous but tolerating it until I sat up in my bed and I couldn't hold back :(

Saturday rolled along and I stayed nauseous all day, I mostly slept the day away, my appetite had been dwindling so I hadn't eaten much all day. Once again at night I threw up a little bit. Yesterday morning I weighed 121. I walked 6 laps for exercise.

Today Sunday morning I weigh 119... sorry but its hard to eat most foods :\ I will push myself more. My resting heart rate is around 120 again. No good news to report. Just send me good thoughts and wishes that this misery of mine is short lived. I just want it to pass fast already.

Day 3 of (ICE) Chemo

He later found my stuffed teddy bear on the
bed and started chewing on him LoL.

Yesterday I attended a workshop on frame painting. It was just me and my husband and they gave us the supplies. I will post a video update of yesterdays happenings & you can see our masterpieces in the video.

Today I weighed in at 123lbs which means I have gained 20lbs since my lowest weight in late august of 103lbs. My appetite is still great, no bad side effects from chemo so far. I was told 14 laps in the hallway equals a mile, so I completed that task. Will walk more later :) I also did some arm band exercises. I relaxed in the recreation room for a little while, checked out the cute library they have (there's a lot of books-its nice). I also got a visit from Oliver, a doggy visitor. I hope to see two more doggies later. I forgot to mention that they have me recording how much I pee (for anyone who's been through chemo before). I have to do it so they know my kidneys are functioning well or something like that.

Exercise: I did 2 miles worth of laps (28 laps) and arm exercises with a good deal of resistance (I'm updating now at 3:22am & already feeling sore).

PET Scan

I'm about to eat a big breakfast right now because it will be my only meal until after 5pm probably. I cannot eat 6 hours prior to my scan today so I will load up on some filling proteins & carbs like toast with eggs, plus some bad food too like Nutella maybe ;) I can't exercise either, you can't exercise 24hrs prior.
This scan is very expensive, my insurance hates to grant me permissions for it. My doctors have to usually request with a special note. Its awesome though, the images that it produces with x-ray, infrared lighting, and all that mumbo-jumbo. I have to get this radio active injection a half hour before I get scanned. I think of spider man every time I hear radio active and like to think that on PET scan days like this I'm extra cool because I'm radio active haha.

Wish me luck, & keep me in your thoughts today because Monday will be results day. Time is ticking!...>_<