Not Ready

My blood work from Friday was even worse than the blood work from last Wednesday. I noticed I felt my weakest on Saturday, so I assume that is when it sunk to its lowest. Yesterday I started to feel noticeably better. This morning I feel 90% which is GREAT. Unfortunately my blood count is still on the low end but the nurses today told me my counts were headed up. This means that my scheduled Stem Cell Donation (to myself) appointment was cancelled today and I have to come back tomorrow. They said I should be good to go tomorrow. Its amazing how they can predict that. Until then I was told to keep a high calcium diet. This prevents the possibility of light-headedness and nausea that can occur during the Stem Cell Donation process. I've been prepping my body this past week by receiving Neupogen shots (white blood cells) to the  back of my arm. It sucks every time, each morning, when my husband pinches my skin and injects me. Let me tell you, you do NOT get used to needles the more you get them. There is no getting used to that! I have to close my eyes cringing and humming songs to distract myself each time.

Oh my picture from Friday was posted on a radio stations page and it got over 400,000 likes! Thats cray!!! I can't believe so many people all over the country saw --> my big bald head! ^_^

Finally Updating

I know I look terrible lol,
but what can you expect?

Its been very rough theses past few days. I'm too tired to even update, but Rick pushes me when I need to go the extra mile. Yesterday my aunt & uncle came to visit, they are so sweet and good to me, going above and beyond to make sure I'm happy. I got 3 balloons (one was Batman), I got soo many roses, can't even count, & my aunt who is a nurse even got me a portable little blood pressure/hr monitor gadget. I was really exhausted all day but I dont like to just lay in bed when I have company over :\

My visiting nurse came in the evening to change the dressing on my catheter, and not long after my mom came over too. It was a full house, very nice, but at the same time overwhelming for me. By the time my mother left I was beyond spent. I try to be strong in the company of others, especially my family but that alone is exhausting enough and I end up breaking down when everyone leaves. My husband says I'm too concerned about everyone else's feelings, he says I need to let myself be sick and cared for right now. I'm afraid to upset everyone and let them see me at my weakest. I'm stubborn, I need to look strong! Keeping that image up has been hard lately. So I guess in this moment of weakness all I ask is just for your affections, love, care, thoughts, a joke, anything genuinely simple enough to make me smile for a second. I need your attention right now :\ it distracts me from nausea, it makes me feel better when now all I can do is lay in bed for days and wait this out.

Crappy Monday

And Now I'm Bald

Bad hair day Korra.

I have been feeling back to my normal self since Friday morning so I didn't think I needed to update too much this weekend.

I noticed my hairs starting to fall off on Friday, by Saturday morning I was realizing I was excessively shedding. All of Saturday my hair fell off everywhere & was becoming bothersome/itchy/messy. I tied it up for bed to awake on Sunday morning with a head full of knots. It wasn't normal knotting, it was the hairs falling off getting caught in the hair that was not. I tried, my husband tried, & later even my mother tried to untangle the mess but it was almost impossible to maintain because it continued to knot. I decided, it was time. My hair would have fallen off completely by the end of this week if I let it, but I saved my bed sheets & floor the hassle of it sticking everywhere.

Last night my brother buzzed it all off so I'm BALD. We had fun cutting up funny hair styles before it was all shaved off. My dad took pics but I forgot to get them. I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed that we had to shave it all off this time. We tried to get a short "GI Jane" look going but my hair was patchy this time. It took a moment for me to get used to being bald but I don't look too bad I think. From the front its not terrible, but from the back its still kind of patchy since I still have tiny little spikes of hair. Honestly I'm only upset about the fact that now I really look like a sick person. And that bothers me because I'm not really unhealthy or that sick. I feel strong, & I don't like that people will look at me & assume I'm weak. I will wear a wig or head tie until all the stubble falls off but I don't mind walking around bald.

Every morning my dog comes to sleep in the bed with me. This morning when my husband let her into the room she jumped up on the bed & I sat up to greet her (also try to startle her) but she just gave me a funny look. Instead of being scared thinking I was a stranger she recognized me but with hesitation because she approached me & re-sniffed me all around. It was like she had to sniff me up & down to make sure I was who she thought I was. It was cute and then she caught me off guard & started licking my head so I had to pull her off me haha! Also I got weighed today: 120lbs (keeping steady) Heart rate 87bpm & blood pressure good, no fever :)

Friday, First Full Day Home

Just a day of relaxing in bed for the most part. The pain from my water retention swelling died down. I am a little more nauseous (just a little) & my appetite has faded away. I'm eating but its not going down as easily as before. Took a few short walks outside just to get some fresh air.

My babes gave me a 1 UP,
"Extra Life"
^_^

* Exercise: I felt a little better at night so I did some bicep curls, military presses, front raises, side lateral raises, and calf raises. I only used 5lb dumb bells so don't worry, I'm not overdoing it with those baby weights ;) I'm keeping it light.

Day 3 of (ICE) Chemo

He later found my stuffed teddy bear on the
bed and started chewing on him LoL.

Yesterday I attended a workshop on frame painting. It was just me and my husband and they gave us the supplies. I will post a video update of yesterdays happenings & you can see our masterpieces in the video.

Today I weighed in at 123lbs which means I have gained 20lbs since my lowest weight in late august of 103lbs. My appetite is still great, no bad side effects from chemo so far. I was told 14 laps in the hallway equals a mile, so I completed that task. Will walk more later :) I also did some arm band exercises. I relaxed in the recreation room for a little while, checked out the cute library they have (there's a lot of books-its nice). I also got a visit from Oliver, a doggy visitor. I hope to see two more doggies later. I forgot to mention that they have me recording how much I pee (for anyone who's been through chemo before). I have to do it so they know my kidneys are functioning well or something like that.

Exercise: I did 2 miles worth of laps (28 laps) and arm exercises with a good deal of resistance (I'm updating now at 3:22am & already feeling sore).