When It Rains, It Pours

When I was still hopeful in the day.

The past few days have been disappointing in that I had to travel over an hour to my hospital to get my blood test, be told my white blood cell count was still too low, & then be forced to head back home. Well today took the cake. I was finally ready to get my stem cells collected. First of all I didn't sleep enough last night, and I arrived to my appointment late due to one of the worst cases of train traffic I've experienced. The nurses didnt seem to mind & got me connected to the machine. My fingers and face got tingly at one point, it didn't feel too nice. They gave me tums to help the side effect and they later injected Heparin into my lines too. It took about 4 boring hours. The nurses told me initially that my blood work didn't seem very promising of stem cells so I may have to take a new injection that had to be administered in the hospital at 5pm later in the day if the amount of stem cells they collected was very low which they already anticipated. This new plan was not on my agenda, so unfortunately my husband & I were forced to stay by the hospital after my stem cell collection ended around 1:30pm. As is routine, the nurses told me they would call me later and let me know how many stem cells were able to be collected today. I need to collect 5 million.

My husband and I went for lunch & walked around the city bored for a long while. We thought coming back to the hospital early to get my injection would help us get things done faster but we were told it had to be given at earliest 4:30pm. On top of that I was told my insurance was bringing difficulties since it is an expensive drug so my main nurse was trying to get the ok from higher ups while we waited. As we waited I was dealing with another personal issue that I had going on today regarding paperwork with my father that I found out didn't happen as I had planned. I was losing patience, I was upset, and then the call came about the stem cells. "ZERO" Yup Z-E-R-O. I broke down and started crying right there. I was hysterical. I didn't even think collecting ZERO stem cells after four hours was possible. I thought something was wrong with me. I expected my stem cell count to be low but geeze, not zero. My husband quickly calmed me down and helped me understand things better. He reminded me that the nurses did explain I may have to keep returning for days until I was "stem cell" ready. I guess I just forgot & was confused about what they meant. I was mentally exhausted, spent, & over stressed today. Thankfully, shortly after they gave me my shot and I went home, but it was a LONG ASS day.

On the bright side: I wasn't very nauseous today. I'm feeling better but my new pain is all over body tenderness to the touch due to my daily neupogen shots. Oh and you won't believe what a "beautiful" FAIL my husband did on me today. I will post the "beauty" tomorrow. I need to sleep.

Not Ready

My blood work from Friday was even worse than the blood work from last Wednesday. I noticed I felt my weakest on Saturday, so I assume that is when it sunk to its lowest. Yesterday I started to feel noticeably better. This morning I feel 90% which is GREAT. Unfortunately my blood count is still on the low end but the nurses today told me my counts were headed up. This means that my scheduled Stem Cell Donation (to myself) appointment was cancelled today and I have to come back tomorrow. They said I should be good to go tomorrow. Its amazing how they can predict that. Until then I was told to keep a high calcium diet. This prevents the possibility of light-headedness and nausea that can occur during the Stem Cell Donation process. I've been prepping my body this past week by receiving Neupogen shots (white blood cells) to the  back of my arm. It sucks every time, each morning, when my husband pinches my skin and injects me. Let me tell you, you do NOT get used to needles the more you get them. There is no getting used to that! I have to close my eyes cringing and humming songs to distract myself each time.

Oh my picture from Friday was posted on a radio stations page and it got over 400,000 likes! Thats cray!!! I can't believe so many people all over the country saw --> my big bald head! ^_^

A 'BEST NEWS EVER' Kind of Day

I noticed I woke up upbeat. I was humming, singing, being silly. It seems when I can do that -things are looking up. I'm not going to lie. I cried a lot this week. I'm very impatient lately. My other chemos did not leave as long of a discomfort as this last one has. Everyday I woke up hoping to feel better & although I did a little each day, it wasn't sufficient enough for me. I'm still not feeling better, but for the moment I can be appreciative its not worse.

The things that annoyed my life this week:
This catheter on/in my chest (uncomfortable to lay), its more nauseating than anything, the dry mouth/throat/gums (having to eat soft things), constipation, my stomach not being 100%, my husband giving me a shot to the back of my arms everyday, & having this headache-y feeling.
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NOW to the GREAT NEWS: While out and about this morning I received a call from my doctors office & they told me that the Bone Marrow biopsy from last week was CLEAR! No cancer! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I JUST WANT TO SING & DANCE, I FEEL SO GOOD! SO HAPPY! SO HOPEFUL! If this weeks chemo beat my ass down, well this news just boosted me back up ten fold! Its a GREAT day! ^_^

Wednesday

OMG how could you NOT love
the little ball of FuFu!

I've had a lot of guests visit me the past few days. Its been a nice distraction. Yesterday my brother came by, then a friend (thx for the treats again!), and later my brothers girlfriend. I am starting to feel a tad bit better. I guess what I mean is that my head isn't hurting AS much, as before but it still doesn't feel right. Its a slow progress. Today I had to get blood work done so I went out for a little bit this morning. When we came back home I planned to just lay in bed all day and rest. Thats exactly what I did. I don't like to lie in bed for hours but there's not much else I can do to feel better. Tiny exertion, tires me out. My handy dandy dog slept by my side for most of my nap, and I felt somewhat better later on. I'm still not used to this damn catheter on my chest/neck >:(, its physically not bothersome, but I think it adds to my nausea when I lay/sit in different positions.

Anyway I hear its snowing out, so its not like I'm missing out much...