Weekend Update

These are all the medicines they sent
home with me from the hospital.
Two are anti-nausea meds, but
luckily I haven't had a
need for them yet :)

On Saturday: Friends visited as I relaxed in bed feeling a tad bit nauseous & tired. I went to church & ran some errands with the family. My mother visited in the evening, and as soon as she left I hit the bed like a bag of bricks. I did very light arm exercises, but I'll admit it wasn't much of a challenge.

On Sunday: The weather was a bit warmer so I decided to enjoy the fresh air. I double checked my heart rate before embarking on my journey to my parents house. I made sure to take an easy pace and keep hydrated with a bottle of Gatorade. I honestly admit I had second thoughts about doing the walk, but I was comfortable knowing my heart rate was not excessively high. I wouldn't have walked 3 miles otherwise. In the end I was proud I made it. I don't know where my energy comes from.

I must say, it must seem like I am taking to this ICE chemotherapy well, but after a long day I am ready to pass out. I know my body very well, and what it is capable of. I know I seem strong, & sometimes I give that vibe off too easily. I would never advise anyone in a similar situation to follow in my steps. Everyone's gotta do what "THEY THEMSELVES" can do. I tend to push myself, and I admit I over exert myself at times. Today I pushed myself just a bit more than probably advisable. I'm okay though, but BOY am I tired. I can't wait to finish writing this blog just so I can go to sleep! But my point is, as strong/capable/independent as I seem, sometimes I really just want a warm hug with someone telling me everything is going to be alright. I'm vulnerable. I'm strong, but I'm still vulnerable. I know I say "I got this", but sometimes I'm not so sure. Can you make me feel safe? Can you convince me? In the end the unknown still scares me.