I Exercised

My awesome husband
made these for us <3

I feel better today, not a lot better, but in comparison to the last 2 days I can manage to do things instead of lay in bed all day. I took full advantage & exercised: 3 sets of body weight squats, 200 situps (variations), dumbbell curl, overhead, side lateral/front raise & triceps. Whenever I felt winded I took it slow. That's all I'll do today, fatigue is sneaky these days.

Hey if you want a mental image, picture my little dog on my stomach as I did sit ups. She is so needy! Can't let me exercise, has to sit on top of me! I don't mind lately as I've been pretty needy too. I told Rick when people get sick for now on we will buy them a dog. Having a sweet dog cuddle next to you when you feel bad has really helped my spirits. (I'm officially a dog person :-o )

*SERIOUSLY my husband is AMAZING, he GETS me. HE KNOWS ME. I dreamed about him my whole life & he is real!

Sunny Day!

We cut up a baby's outfit.

Its only a quarter to two! Can't this day be done already? I've been feeling the very icky effects of chemotherapy for 24hrs now. Trying to nap helps only a bit. My head is actually sick of laying down. Anywho, I forgot to mention that swallowing has been a problem, my esophagus is still cut up from a hard bagel I ate the other day. It doesn't help that my mouth is dry now, so its not healing. I woke up with more pain in my jaw today (probably my wisdom teeth acting up). I can't open my mouth that much, and my gums hurt so brushing my teeth is an obstacle.

I attempted to keep myself busy by cleaning my room and doing some crafts (my doggies new outfit).

Special delivery!

*Wish I could sleep these next few days away...
--------------------------------------------
Minutes after I wrote this I received a delivery! What a way to cheer someone up right? Thank you for the flowers John & Steffanie! You guys absolutely put a smile on my face today when I was feeling down and out! :D

Neutropenic

Today was a crappy day. I had a checkup in the morning. I thought I felt fine today until this uneasiness settled through my body as I rushed to get to my appointment. This uneasiness I speak of is this overwhelming tiredness that pours through my veins and gives me an almost light headed feeling. We were walking too fast and I could feel my heart jumping out of my chest, my lungs losing a bit more air than I'm used to. When they recorded my heart rate it was about 110bpm, so not too great. My bloodwork also showed that I was becoming neutropenic (I had low WBC count- meaning I can't fight off infections well). My doctor told me I would probably start feeling more tired and I had already begun noticing this morning.

I went out with a friend for lunch and was feeling worse by the hour. When I finally came back home I immediately prepared myself for bed, mind you it was only 3:30 in the afternoon. I napped on and off. The naps didn't help much the first few hours but its 9pm and I'm a little better  now. Today I noticed the less I move, the less crappy I felt. Assuming this is the trend I expect I'll be in bed a lot the next few days. I REALLY don't want to move -_-. My doctor told me I could get fevers again, so I'll be on the lookout for that. Oh joy!

Weekend Update

These are all the medicines they sent
home with me from the hospital.
Two are anti-nausea meds, but
luckily I haven't had a
need for them yet :)

On Saturday: Friends visited as I relaxed in bed feeling a tad bit nauseous & tired. I went to church & ran some errands with the family. My mother visited in the evening, and as soon as she left I hit the bed like a bag of bricks. I did very light arm exercises, but I'll admit it wasn't much of a challenge.

On Sunday: The weather was a bit warmer so I decided to enjoy the fresh air. I double checked my heart rate before embarking on my journey to my parents house. I made sure to take an easy pace and keep hydrated with a bottle of Gatorade. I honestly admit I had second thoughts about doing the walk, but I was comfortable knowing my heart rate was not excessively high. I wouldn't have walked 3 miles otherwise. In the end I was proud I made it. I don't know where my energy comes from.

I must say, it must seem like I am taking to this ICE chemotherapy well, but after a long day I am ready to pass out. I know my body very well, and what it is capable of. I know I seem strong, & sometimes I give that vibe off too easily. I would never advise anyone in a similar situation to follow in my steps. Everyone's gotta do what "THEY THEMSELVES" can do. I tend to push myself, and I admit I over exert myself at times. Today I pushed myself just a bit more than probably advisable. I'm okay though, but BOY am I tired. I can't wait to finish writing this blog just so I can go to sleep! But my point is, as strong/capable/independent as I seem, sometimes I really just want a warm hug with someone telling me everything is going to be alright. I'm vulnerable. I'm strong, but I'm still vulnerable. I know I say "I got this", but sometimes I'm not so sure. Can you make me feel safe? Can you convince me? In the end the unknown still scares me.